Sana Iqbal-Once Planned Her Own Death, Now Spreading Awareness About Suicide & Depression.
14 June 2017
Life teaches us new lessons. It also gives us new experiences. When everything seems faded, there is a path to new rise. This is one such story of self-realisation and conquering the fears of life.
Being born and brought up in Hyderabad, Sana had her education and first job in the city. She has travelled a lot for exploration as well for work. She had a very healthy upbringing which is very necessary for a person because that shapes the entire life. And probably that is one reason, Sana stands strong.
She started working very early in life. The reason behind it was only because she was curious and wanted to explore the work-life. Her father wanted her to become a doctor or engineering. If not any of both then at least an advocate as both her parents are advocates. On contrary, Sana wanted to do something that she actually liked. Being rebellious by nature, she had an urge to explore more and learn herself on humanitarian levels.
When she was in seventh grade, she learnt to ride a bike. She felt she was quite tall to control it by then. It was her maternal uncle who taught her to ride a bike. He had a huge fascination for bikes and with it a collection of many bikes which excited Sana.
Somehow, bike riding and taking on various expeditions gave her new ideas and a new dimension to life. Cooking and other household activity never were her interest fields. While her friends would talk about their house-keeping classes or other sculleries, Sana would talk about her bike riding experiences.
Her friends would be more interested in listening to her rather than sharing their own talks. People’s reaction boosted her more because she didn’t know the impact when she initially learnt bike riding.
Sana has always been the best performer. Right from her first job, she has just excelled in her work. But yes, like every other story there were many ups and downs in her life too.
She fell in love with a guy. They loved each other but the circumstances were not in their favour. After facing many challenges and a huge period of convincing they both got married.
Soon after their marriage, things started changing between them. Relationship issues started to increase.
Meanwhile, Sana’s pregnancy test results came positive. Sana felt things would change with the arrival of the new member in the family. And the phase she was going through demanded a lot more care and a lot more pampering. Sadly, things were not improving between the couple but worsening.
Though, Sana Iqbal was quite blessed in having a wonderful extended family where all her cousins and another relative would encourage her and support her with her decisions and ups and downs.
Slowly, the distance between the couple started expanding. Things even went worse. Sana was battling with herself. She didn’t have anyone with whom she could actually share her problems and issues.
Being a woman, she started feeling that her husband could have an extra marital affair because there was nothing like a husband-wife relationship between them. Facing all the ups and down, she did know her responsibilities. She would work hard at the office and help her family monetarily because she felt it was her duty being the eldest one.
During this unfortunate period, one early in the morning she started feeling extremely uneasy. She then observed that the entire area around her belly button has turned black. She had numerous thoughts in her mind but she stood align and went to see the doctor. She felt very scared because she didn’t even remember when she felt her baby moving in her womb.
The doctor examined her and yelled at her because there was a high possibility of the baby already been dead in the womb. Sana was shaken. She again had endless thoughts in her mind. Luckily, the baby was alive but only with 10% heart rate. With immediate medication, things were brought to normality. Sana is a healthy woman with healthy records. The reason behind witnessing such a situation was depression and mental stress.
Even after the birth of baby things didn’t improve between the couple. Everyone would tell her to just be over him. Even the family members of her husband would advise her to live a life of own. She saw herself in the mirror and was devastated. She realised she started looking ugly. Her eyes all had swollen making her look miserable. And then, she started thinking why was she doing this. She started feeling so low that she thought of dying. But, she then thought of her family and his son.
When she used to read about people committing suicide, scrolling down her Facebook feeds she would she people dying in an accident. Being a rider, she was a part of few bike rider communities and so she decided to plan her death in a way that it looked like an accident.
She brought her bullet back from her husband and told her mother that she had to go to write an exam as she wants to fly to Canada. She had built a story in a way where she could get some time out of the city and would crash her bike committing suicide which would look like an accident.
She started her journey and was 200kms away from Pune. She was experiencing new things. She was feeling very light while riding her bullet all way. All while, she didn’t even think of any wrong that had happened to her. Instead, she was feeling good and happy riding and exploring. She didn’t even think of dying. Somehow, she felt easy. She realised life is not that bad. She could find a better way to live.
Her actual intention of dying had vanished completely. She then decided to just go and write her exam and come back home. The journey made her realise that peace can be attained by peace itself. Later she decided to use a journey to give purpose to her sufferings.
Sana then planned a cross-country solo trip to every state in India. She started from Goa in November 2015. She completed her mission on 13 June 2016, 2 days before her son’s first birthday. She travelled over 38,000kms within a span of 6.5 months and offered 135 seminars on awareness about suicide. Her journey was actively supported by various riding groups and clubs.
She is on a solo mission to create awareness on suicide and depression. She does counselling on her Facebook page and helps students lead a happy and meaningful life by guiding them towards positivity. She gives workshops on the awareness that “Suicide is not the solution”. In her workshop, she talks on matters that trouble young minds.
Sana Iqbal is a Woman of Courage because she fought against her depression and found a way to live life on her own terms. She not only gave herself a new birth but also to many others. She is a courageous woman in every sense in every aspect.
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